Coaching agreements that hold the whole session

Every coaching relationship rests on agreements at two levels. There is the overall agreement about the engagement — logistics, confidentiality, roles and what the client hopes to gain over time. And there is the agreement for each individual session: what this conversation is for. This article is about the second one, because it is where many sessions quietly lose their way.

Three questions worth asking

A session agreement does not need to be long. In most cases it covers three things:

• What the client wants to explore today.
• What success looks like by the end of the session, in the client's own words.
• What is important about this for the client right now.

The third question is often skipped, and it is frequently the one that opens the conversation up. A client who wants "a plan for the next quarter" may, when asked why it matters, talk about wanting to prove something to themselves. That is a different conversation, and it is the client's choice whether to have it.

Make it measurable enough

"I'd like to feel clearer" is a fine starting point, but it helps to ask how the client will know they are clearer. Perhaps they will have chosen between two options, or written down a first step, or simply be able to explain the problem in one sentence. Something observable gives both of you a way to check progress later.

Return to it

An agreement made in the first five minutes is only useful if it is revisited. When the conversation moves somewhere new, name it lightly: We started with the job offer and now we're talking about your relationship with your manager. Where would you like to go? The client may stay on the new topic or come back. Either way, they have chosen.

Towards the end, close the loop. At the start you said you wanted to leave knowing whether to apply. Where are you with that now? This is not a test the session passes or fails. It is a moment for the client to notice what has moved.

Common traps

• Accepting the first topic. The first thing a client says is often the doorway, not the room.
• Writing the agreement for the client. Use their words; avoid summarising them into yours.
• Treating the agreement as fixed. Clients learn during a session. An agreement can change, as long as the change is explicit.

Seeing it in your feedback

The feedback report looks at how an agreement was established and maintained as part of the competency on agreements. If it shows the agreement only at the start, try a mid-session check-in next time and compare. Our page on the ICF core competencies summarises how this competency fits with the others; the ICF website has the official wording.